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*** A NeilsNotes TOP SELLER! ***
Front: 'Oh...we are so done!'
Inside: 'Because (check all that apply)'
'(Note - not listed in order of importance).'
(70+ reasons to break-up)
-You are a lousy piece of ass!
-You don't do oral!
-You don't do anal!
-You're a prick!
-You're a bitch!
-You're a nag, bag, a slag, and/or hag(underline all that apply)
-You're a fucking asshole!
-You're a pig!
-Your home is a pigpen!
-You're a neat freak!
-You suck!
-You don't suck (enough)!
-You make me prefer masturbation!
-You're selfish (ie.: Get your head out of a**. Do come up for air sometime!)!
-You're cheap (and I don't mean 'frugal.' I mean f*cking cheap!)!
-You have a small dick (what exactly did you wear that thing down on!?)!
-You have a loose beaver (does a guy have to strap a 2x8 to his a** so as not to fall in!?)!
-Your kids are annoying!
-Your Ex is annoying!
-Your parents are annoying!
-Your dead relatives (were they alive) would also probably be annoying!
-You're annoying!
-You don't make enough money!
-You're damaged goods!
-You can't leave the past in the past!
-Your car is a joke (but not in that good, funny way!)!
-You drive too slow!
-You drive too fast!
-You're a sh*tty driver!
-You smell like your f*cking pets!
-You're lazy!
-You're a workaholic!
-You're a shop-a-holic!
-You're an alcoholic!
-You're a sex-a-holic!
-You're an excuse maker!
-You're a liar!
-You're full of yourself!
-You're not a bag of chips and that much more!
-You make me restless!
-You agitate me me worse than fiberglass insulation does a person's skin!
-You're eyes don't line up!
-You limp (what's up with that...yet another 'attention-getting' device?)!
-You're voice wishes me to be in a tragic vehicular accident!
-When you sing around me... it's like an ice pick in my ear!
-You're just plain ol' boring!
-You're too fat!
-You're too skinny!
-You sleep with family members!
-You sleep with farm animals(still probably family members)!
-You slept with my friends(s). And that's just wrong!

#335 - The Ultimate Break-Up Card!

$3.95 Regular Price
$2.00Sale Price
  • -I slept with your friend(s). And that's just HOT!
    -I only date real men!
    -I only date real women!
    -I only date my own species!
    -I sometimes imagine of what it would be like were you to be hit by a bus!
    -You shed!
    -You eat your own dandruff!
    -You're pulling a hair from my head to floss your teeth did NOT 'rock my world!'
    -Sometimes you have 'stuff' in your eyes!
    -Sometimes you have 'stuff' hanging out your nose!
    -You're ugly (specify inside and/or out)!
    -The thought of being with you gives me gas!
    -When I'm not with your, I find my mind wandering to ways of killing you (and that's not good)!
    -Being around you has me longing for death (and that's still not good)!